Thursday, January 3, 2013

Breaking up is hard to do..or is it? (Ashley's advice)

I know that this is a blog for book reviews, but I have seen a lot of bad relationships and women/men not knowing how to end it. I wanted to give some advice because I believe that it will do someone out there some good. I just broke up with my boyfriend of a year and 1/2. We hadn't seen each other in a little over a year, granted he did join the Marines, but that's not the point. Every time he was home, we would make plans, and he would always have something come up on his end that we wouldn't end up seeing each other. I lived with it, but the day before my birthday, he did it again, so after crying and talking to my sis Alexis, I decided that I was tired of this crap. I told him the next day that we needed to take time and think about what we want from this relationship. Then yesterday, I finally got up the nerve to tell him, I couldn't do it anymore and I stayed strong when he was practically begging me to give him another chance. I had already told him what I felt was wrong in our relationship a couple months ago and he said he would change but he didn't.
Girls/Guys.....if your significant other tells you they will change I have news for you...THEY ARE BIG FAT LIARS!!!!!!!!!!! A tiger can't change his stripes and someone who knows their biggest faults for awhile and have never changed are a lost cause. Also, know the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater"...if they cheated on you once they will do it again. If  they are verbally abusive or physically abusive..leave their asses and if they hit you immediately leave the house and call 911 or go to a police station to report it. I have had my share of bad relationships..they have either cheated or not cared enough about me. I promise you, you have the strength to leave an abusive relationship or a non healthy one. Please don't kidd yourself and say " They will change..I love them so much I can put up with it" trust me I have said that so many times.
I am thankful for having my sis, Alexis, not lie to me and help me open my eyes to the truth. Everyone needs a friend like that, because if you are blind to it you need someone to notice it and tell you you are being an idiot and that you could do so much better. A lot of relationships are going to possibly hurt you when they end...Which is understandable and here is some advice to help with that hurt and to deal with it.

  1. Cry- When you are alone, or with a friend/family member, cry your eyes out (guys it's OK for you to cry too..it shows you have feelings). Crying is so good for you, because you don't have to keep it inside. Keeping any emotion inside is very bad, because you can become distant or you will hold on to it and never be able to move on from the relationship.
  2. Read- Pick up your favorite book or go out and buy a new one. Books help drag you into their pages and help you leave reality for a while, which helps a lot, trust me. Everyone needs to leave reality and not have to deal with the sadness for awhile.
  3. Disney- What always helps me calm down or relax is watching an animated Disney movie, i.e. Mulan, or any movie that makes you laugh or makes you feel better. If you do choose to watch a Disney movie, than know that the Princes' are fairy tales, they are not real. But, who am I kidding they make some hot characters..who hasn't had a crush on Prince Eric, Shang, Flynn Rider, or even The Beast. LOL..My sis and I love our fictional characters
  4. Friends- When you are feeling up to it, go hang out with your friends, go shopping, just surround yourself with people who love you and make you laugh. Don't close off those people because they will help you get through the break up, even if it was your idea. Also work out, that way you can handle stress and you can also make yourself sexy and feel better about yourself.
These are just a few things that help me feel better whenever I am feeling down or stressing out after a break up. Also, chocolate or ice cream can make anything feel better. If you take anything from this post just know that an un-healthy relationship is going to be toxic to you. You are strong and God has a person picked out for everyone, just be patient and never settle for someone who treats you like crap or won't make time for you in their life. I hope that this helps some of you.

Lots of Love,

       Ashley

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